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Poem Of The Week - The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel

in Poetry Discussion

So this poem was introduced to me through a workshop (workshop by proxy, maybe?) I wasn't there but another member sent the poem to me and I kind of love it.

The Quiet World

by Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look

into each other’s eyes more,

and also to appease the mutes,

the government has decided

to allot each person exactly one hundred

and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear

without saying hello. In the restaurant

I point at chicken noodle soup.

I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,

proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.

I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,

I know she’s used up all her words,

so I slowly whisper I love you

thirty-two and a third times.

After that, we just sit on the line

and listen to each other breathe.

I enjoy the premise of this poem a lot and although there isn't a strict rhythm (eg. iambic pentameter), there is a quiet rhythm to it.

I love the broader message critiquing how people stare at their phones (guilty as charged!) but I also love the quiet passion there towards the author's lover.

Some questions I'm proposing:

Could this be classed as a love poem?

Do you think there's any significance to the numbers (167, 59, 32 and a third)?

Is there also a commentary on manners? Eg. not saying hello, just pointing at the menu etc.?

Can't wait to here what you think!

2 comments

Comments (2)

Ken LeMarchand

Dec 21, 2021

•

I'm not sure about the coincidence that @Marc mentions, but I did the math and the speaker uses exactly 73 words up till they say "I love you" thirty-two and a third times. Which means the speaker has exactly 94 words left before saying "I love you" and when you divide 94 by thirty-two and a third (94 / 32.333) you get roughly 2.9, which means the speaker has approximately one-third a word left.