If someone could give me advice, that would be good, but I suppose I'm just looking to vent. I've been struggling with my mental health the past few months (in case you couldn't tell from some of my comments on Conversing with Poets). As a result, I've had difficulty in writing poetry. I've written two and a half drafts this past month, and one and a half of those are really rough drafts.
I've been having trouble getting things done, and on top of that I've been having anxiety about writing. I'm almost afraid to write, but I'm also afraid of losing my verse. I kind of want to give up writing, but I'm also terrified of losing such a big part of myself. I've stopped thinking of myself as a poet, and my Youtube name almost bothers me as a result.
I used to love writing poetry and required being able to write. It bothers me that I don't fully want to write anymore.
And yes, I know it's because of my mental state. On one of the few days where I was genuinely happy, I could tell that I wanted to write and could have written if I had the means to do it. And the one non-rough draft I wrote this month was on one of my good days. At those times, it's like "I Broke the Spell that Held Me Long"--I look at the world and have to write verse in joy. However, those times are few and fleeting.
I may be getting help soon. I finally told a teacher of mine the extent of my problems and she told me I need to get professional help. I realize that she is right, but in order to get help, I need to talk to my parents and I'm terrified of doing so. I told my teacher I would because I know that I need it.
Do you have any advice for me on how to continue writing?
I'm sorry if I'm burdening people with this or oversharing.
Don’t give up, just focus on writing what makes you laugh. Even if it is a rough draft. Let that draft sit for sometime. Reread it and see if it makes you laugh still or do you need to tweak it. Or just emerge yourself in something that makes you happy. Your muse willl find you again, if you keep seeing the light side of living
Thank you. It really means a lot.
And as an update, I managed to get my mother to schedule me an intake appointment for therapy without requiring an explanation.
Hi, personally I didn't write anything for years (but I read a lot, and even commented others' works). When I started writing a bit again, it wasn't bad perhaps, but it always revolved around the same theme, and I had the impression that I really had nothing to say. On the other hand, when I imposed constraints on myself (a set theme, for example, or compulsory rhymes in the case of ‘classical’ poetry), the result was often much more unexpected and interesting (often humorous, even sarcastic, but not always). I don't know if that can help, or even if it applies to other people, but that's my own experience. All the best!
Hi!
Firstly, as somebody who has and still does suffer with their mental health, I want you to know that I understand you. I want you to know that there IS a way forward and I am glad that you decided to reach out SOMEWHERE. It won’t be easy, it’s a long old crawl, and at times I slip myself… but I promise you that it does get easier. I do have to reiterate the importance of finding professional help. Seeing a therapist was my first step too and it did me a world of good. I know it is tough sometimes to tell people how we are feeling, and it can even be tougher telling our parents, but I think it will do you good to talk to them.
In terms of not being able to write, or wanting to write… I think we should just put that to the back of our to-do list for now. Our muse must be flirted with and charmed, rather than beaten into submission. Focus on taking care of yourself for now. Once a poet, always a poet. Trust me on that one, your creativity hasn’t vanished… merely pushed to the side for now and that’s okay whilst we deal with more pressing matters such as looking after the rest of you. The very fact that you still feel the need to write poetry is a big sign that you are still a poet.
If you feel you MUST write something, may I suggest just a few Haikus a day, maybe a Tanka, or even a list poem? But only when the mood strikes.
I hope this helps, you’re a Cover now, we are all family here. 🙏🖤