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Amanda’s New Poem

in Poetry Discussion

So admittedly I stole this from Ken! What are your thoughts on Gorman’s new poem? The poetry, performance, video production etc?

9 comments

Comments (9)

Shen Friebe

Jan 16, 2022

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Gorman is a great motivational speaker, that's for sure. I enjoyed the word play and her message is a strong one. She has a lot of important things to say but damn, the rhythm she uses just irritates me. Sorry if I'm being a bit brutal but it almost ruins the

poem for me if I wasn't attentively paying attention to the subtitles, especially in the first half of the performance. I understand that she's been given a platform because of the current political climate, but I also think it's fair to assess her work solely as poetry because that is exactly how it is being marketed. After all, just read the title of the video.

Also, as many have mentioned before, the poem is filled with cliches and overused metaphors, just like 'The Hill We Climb'. I would really like to listen to a modern/contemporary poem with political themes that doesn't use the word 'torn' to describe a country that is divided, or the phrase 'paving ways forward', lol. Please, political poets- make this stop. It's making a mockery out of the art of poetry as @Ken Merchant stated on a separate thread. I also think using cliches is a bit of an oxymoron in the context of creative poetry. I think that's why this kind of poetry bothers us so much; there is little experimentation, intelligence and rebellion present, which explains why they come across as kinda, vapid.

I agree with Bendy- the 'emotion' in the clip felt very artificial. There is something lacking and I really can't put my finger on it but I don't think it was the weird setting (which I assume is showing us that someone who thinks like Gorman should be given a spotlight or put on a platform for all to hear? Idk. Overall, it just feels very grandiose and very, very privileged America). "Tethered by this year of yearningWEare learning" was the absolute worst part. You can tell she over-thought (over-thinked?) the delivery of that line. To be completely impartial though, I will follow this up with parts that I thought were her most organic and pleasing performances (timestamps 0:40 - 0:51 and 1:11 - 1:23). See, she's got skill. I'm sure it will develop as time goes on and honestly, I am rooting for her. Show us what you've got Gorman!

I understand that poets don't need to be original, but when that is said over and over again, what message does that send to emerging poets, or even the world? It's safer to stick with cliches or writing about 'relatable' topics? Or worse: poetry that exclusively addresses 'relevant' or popular subject matters matter more than poems that don't live up to the status quo? I can't say that sits well with me.

On a side note, 'Broken English' is pretty alright, lol. Rupi, write more poems like this! The opening line is a strong one. That was definitely the case for members of

my own family with they fled war and settled in Australia in 1974. Also, "No friends, no family. Just husband and wife". So simple, but effective. Damn Rupi, I am impressed.

And a bit superficial, but the music Kaur chose was delightful and kind of cute. The lighting effects were also lovely- like they were mimicking the ripples of a tide migrants will travel over to get to their new homes, as they watch the sun set behind the horizon of the sea... gorgeous production. I'm a bit on the fence with Kaur's delivery, because the poem itself was quite good so it started to overshadow that annoying slam poetry cadence we've been talking about a lot this week. Her performance is forgivable.

Another side note: I just realised how much Maya is enjoying her time up there! She was loving every second of it, and that is passion no one can doubt.

Ken LeMarchand

Jan 16, 2022

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Replying to

I also think it's fair to assess Gorman's work solely as poetry because as you've mentioned @Shen that is "exactly how it is being marketed," and as such that should be where the critics place their attention. I've started to develop a criterion I use when I analyze and critique other people's poetry. The items I look for are as follows: originality, creative process, fluency (in the case of performance), and thematic consistency. If I were to grade Gorman on her performance this is what it would look like, with a brief sentence or two why I gave it that mark:

Originality - 3/5, I took a couple points off because the thoughts she's shared are very commonplace in today's modern poetry environment, especially here in the US. However the content material still holds value and were (for the most part) interconnected with one another.

Creative Process - 2/5, she used meter and rhyme to create motion within her performance. I also detected some assonance and consonance in there, which was good too. This alone would have given her a 2/5 because of how basic it was and the fact that the environment she was in wasn't accurate to the theme of the poem. Which was a real bummer. Though there were some shots of her looking off camera creating this idea of talking to a metaphorical crowd in the theater, it created some dissonance between herself and the audience, which stole from the heart of "coming together" as she put it.

Fluency - 3/5, I took two points off because her cadence was jarring to the ear by placing emphasis on her assonance and consonance way too often, which in turn became too distracting without the subtitles. Also, I felt that her delivery was thrown off by the tone of her voice sounding almost robotic, which created this void of emotion. I threw an extra point in there because she was using sign language the entire performance, which was very thoughtful of her. Other than that I could understand what she was saying most of the time, and her body language (mostly the semi-smile she had on her face) made the visual aspect a little more uplifting. Some passion in her tone of voice would have set this one over.

Thematic Consistency - 3/5, for some of the same reasons mentioned in the Creative Process, the theme was incongruent with the words she was delivering to the audience. In addition to that, I took a point off because the theme of "coming together" was almost counterintuitive to the contrasting oppositional word choices she made (i.e. 'wither' and 'weather,' 'torn' and 'mend'). Sounded inconclusive as to whether or not the coming together was going to happen or not. Other than that the theme certainly dominated the entire poem and was relevant.

How would you have graded her?