Amanda’s New Poem

@Sophie something for the blog?

Gorman is a great motivational speaker, that's for sure. I enjoyed the word play and her message is a strong one. She has a lot of important things to say but damn, the rhythm she uses just irritates me. Sorry if I'm being a bit brutal but it almost ruins the

poem for me if I wasn't attentively paying attention to the subtitles, especially in the first half of the performance. I understand that she's been given a platform because of the current political climate, but I also think it's fair to assess her work solely as poetry because that is exactly how it is being marketed. After all, just read the title of the video.

Also, as many have mentioned before, the poem is filled with cliches and overused metaphors, just like 'The Hill We Climb'. I would really like to listen to a modern/contemporary poem with political themes that doesn't use the word 'torn' to describe a country that is divided, or the phrase 'paving ways forward', lol. Please, political poets- make this stop. It's making a mockery out of the art of poetry as @Ken Merchant stated on a separate thread. I also think using cliches is a bit of an oxymoron in the context of creative poetry. I think that's why this kind of poetry bothers us so much; there is little experimentation, intelligence and rebellion present, which explains why they come across as kinda, vapid.

I agree with Bendy- the 'emotion' in the clip felt very artificial. There is something lacking and I really can't put my finger on it but I don't think it was the weird setting (which I assume is showing us that someone who thinks like Gorman should be given a spotlight or put on a platform for all to hear? Idk. Overall, it just feels very grandiose and very, very privileged America). "Tethered by this year of yearningWEare learning" was the absolute worst part. You can tell she over-thought (over-thinked?) the delivery of that line. To be completely impartial though, I will follow this up with parts that I thought were her most organic and pleasing performances (timestamps 0:40 - 0:51 and 1:11 - 1:23). See, she's got skill. I'm sure it will develop as time goes on and honestly, I am rooting for her. Show us what you've got Gorman!

I understand that poets don't need to be original, but when that is said over and over again, what message does that send to emerging poets, or even the world? It's safer to stick with cliches or writing about 'relatable' topics? Or worse: poetry that exclusively addresses 'relevant' or popular subject matters matter more than poems that don't live up to the status quo? I can't say that sits well with me.

On a side note, 'Broken English' is pretty alright, lol. Rupi, write more poems like this! The opening line is a strong one. That was definitely the case for members of

my own family with they fled war and settled in Australia in 1974. Also, "No friends, no family. Just husband and wife". So simple, but effective. Damn Rupi, I am impressed.

And a bit superficial, but the music Kaur chose was delightful and kind of cute. The lighting effects were also lovely- like they were mimicking the ripples of a tide migrants will travel over to get to their new homes, as they watch the sun set behind the horizon of the sea... gorgeous production. I'm a bit on the fence with Kaur's delivery, because the poem itself was quite good so it started to overshadow that annoying slam poetry cadence we've been talking about a lot this week. Her performance is forgivable.

Another side note: I just realised how much Maya is enjoying her time up there! She was loving every second of it, and that is passion no one can doubt.

I'm going to try and respond in my own way, but also address some of the points that others have made thus far.

I completely agree with @Bendy that Amanda's poem could have benefitted from using a refrain (a repetitive word, phrase, or line, for those who don't know what it is). However, emphasizing her poem's theme in the form of a refrain would have only helped if this poem was intended to be lyrical; as refrains are typically used in this manner. I think Amanda was aiming more towards fabricating a poem that leans towards Kaur poetry more so than rap or lyric. This sounds counterintuitive given the title, but I digress. The main reason I say it is more Kaur poetry than lyrical is because of how she delivers the poem (how she plays with the meter and her tone of voice). Here's a Rupi Kaur reciting her poem 'Broken English' as a reference.

I do think she got the point across, but on the same level as Greta Thunberg attempting to convince the entire world that what she says matters. Essentially full of naivety and cliche thinking. I think that was one of the parts I didn't like about Amanda's performance. The poem was written with brevity and cliche concepts. Just like the lines, Bendy suggested in his comments.

The other reason I didn't enjoy the poem is because of her pronunciation. She sounded like a robot to me. Or better yet, delivered her poem the same way William Shatner recites "there's someone on the wing, some, thing" on The Twilight Zone. Aside from her calm and soothing tone of voice (and at some points excitable), she didn't put much emotion into her performance. Which made it feel dull and non-expressive to me.

I just want to say that Amanda has room to grow and that she is a brilliant writer in that her content has merit. However, I think this poem fell short. The last thing of note, and more or less a pet peeve, the title is horrendously uncreative. Sounds like it was rushed to make the media just in time for the New Year. Got to love that IG followers mentality in that it seems she's trying to maintain the spotlight as the next big thing. Also, I dare not say too much about this, but I can't help but think she's getting attention from the media due to the social reform in the US being such a huge trendsetter. Goes to show money is still the main objective in the big publishing world. Which, in my opinion, desiccates the art form. Though those last remarks aren't geared toward Gorman and more towards the Big 5.

As far as the theater goes, it is too subtle of a location to film in I think. I mean naturally one would think of the theater when entertainment is involved, but this shouts Grammy Awards or some other red carpet event to me, and it has nothing to do with the poem. So bad set choice for the film, but otherwise decent cinematography. The different angles where Amanda wasn't looking at the camera are perfectly fine to me because that is a common rule for filming, not to look directly into the camera unless you plan on narrating something or breaking the fourth wall. Breaking away like that gives the audience the sense that she is speaking to everyone in the theater's metaphorical crowd.

If there is anyone I've watched perform poetry, and perform it well, it is the queen bee herself, Maya Angelou. Now I know she's much more fluent through years of practice and isn't the best comparison for a young poet still coming into their own, but this is the standard I would set if a performer would be taken as seriously as what Gorman is striving to be. Thank you @Shen for sharing this video with me in one of our post discussions. It has literally become one of my best resources for the spoken word.

first amazing analysis @Bendy Nguyen

I think the poem is great, it's modern but without being shallow and has some clever word play and poetic tricks, I get what Bendy says about it being like some motivational speech, but I guess that's the kind of thing people are into nowadays, nothing original but not a bad thing, an echo of the timers. maybe it's what many people who have suffered badly during the pandemic need to hear. It would be easy to be cynical, but I think her delivery is what saves this piece. I love her style, very well articulated.

The video for me is a big no no. I would agree with all that Bendy said, like some horrible big Hollywood production, kind of ironic that in the video she has no audience. And that dress... someone should sack her stylist. I think all this distracts from the piece. I would have much seen her in a spotlight in a small dark room.

Thoughts on poem: I think the intention of the content is great.Some of the rhyming,along with repetition and word play is there.This kind of video is something I would see from motivational self help poets(Prince EA for instance).

I really wanted to love this piece.

And I give her credit to not only making it,but making it with her poetry.Thats a very difficult thing to do and I think her fame gives hope that a poet can reach stardom,if they so desire.

I do have issues with this piece something I never thought I would say.Only because,who the heck am I?Since I don't have the same status symbols as Amanda Goodman,Rupi Kaur,and even Adam Gary,to some extent.And I'm not this big important figure of society.However,let me reintroduce myself

HIIIIIIIIIIII

I'M BENDY,A POET,COVER,LOVES ROOT BEER AND DANG PROUD OF MY ROAD BEING JOURNEYPOET!!!!!!!!

So now that's out of the way I like to think I have something to say.

This video itself is well done,highly produced and mainstream.

Video could have improved by being in a far more relatable setting.

Because,unless you were essential(like I was)where has the world been working from?Over the last two years?

I ask this,because the majority of the world doesn't relate to celebrity culture.

They relate to culture that is personal,not universal(well,unless if you're a spiritual person).

And when you achieve fame,you are either a celebrity or a liability.

In Hollywood's eye,someone to be celebrated or someone who's replaceable.So many scene changes,was I watching someone doing spoken word or someone immersed in a vanity project???

I wish there were a lot of moments where she's actually looking at the camera.She does at some parts,but the appearance of a 2 min Hollywoodize production was far more important than connecting to the audience.Audience being us the viewer.

Positive abstractions are a clutch to hide politics' true intention.I didn't find the messages particularly helpful.

"We come together"Even though the world appears to prefer division.

"Look up to kindness" and ignore what the global elite are doing.

"Someday,we can venture beyond it"

When is that someday???

"We heed this old spirit in a New's Day Lyric."Think it would have helped if New's Day Lyric was repeated,miss the opportunity to have this also repeated,to get the point of the message.That this is a New Day Lyric. And not an old spirit.

I say politics,since she did speak at the presidential inauguration,and with that level of status,comes either criticism of critics or poets.

I say mainstream because nowadays,if you look at mainstream poetry they have this "motivational speaker element".

Meaning,while the words are well intentioned….

they lack substance and emotion.

It's mainly one flavor,here's an analogy.

She was eating a white rice,which means we were also eating white rice.

Appreciate the effort,but there is something more one could have uncovered behind the words.However

instead of white rice you have,chicken fried rice with duck,hot and soy sauce.

Now,isn't a poem a party????????

Because there's more than one flavor.

My biggest critique is the delivery.

Going back to what I say about the poem being one note.I get this sense she's diplomatic, very smart and well intentioned.However,outside of motivational/Inspirational there isn't any other emotion,I can feel.

Also,very common once one goes famous,the passion they may have had is gone.Why???Hypothesizing the fame person is now part of the Overly Glamorous Hollywood Machine.

Can tell diction might have been one thing I did enjoy.Very articulate and verbally speaking,I understand her completely.Cadence started off medium,once she started to emphasize (timestamp 1:30)poem went from inspirational(cause of her word play,to motivational(as long as we come with kindness,we can overcome)

Think if she combines that with both(since they're really good) with tonality,and have well placed intention of setting,the piece may come together to forever overcome mediocre,stylized Hollywood videos.

Random question:For those that were a part of my virtual spoken word performances,at second life,

how exactly were they???

In all kindness,since spoken word is now mainstream,(thank you Sophie for the blog,your amazing and hope your well),it's very important to understand why we like and don't like certain pieces,so when you go spoken word,(or in most Covers case,Poetry Cove Radio)you sound like someone worth listening too.

I can say for me,some of my pieces at the Radio ain't even my best,memorization skills are my Achilles heel and after what happened to me in the fall,I'm still very hesitant to get my work unto the world.

So no,I'm not there yet.However,

I'm grateful to even come across modern poets,and poets of years past,to sharpen the pencil and write out poems that are meant to be written.