Welcome to the PoCoChapMo ‘24 Feedback Corner!
This thread is dedicated to gaining constructive feedback and workshopping your poems. Whether you're looking for a fresh perspective, suggestions for improvement, or simply want to share your work, this is the place for you.
How to Use the Feedback Corner
Sharing Your Work:
Post Your Poem: Share the poem you’d like feedback on. Be sure to include any specific areas where you’re seeking advice (e.g., structure, imagery, tone).
Context: If helpful, provide a brief context or background for your poem. This can include the prompt you used or your inspiration.
Be Respectful: Remember that sharing poetry can be a vulnerable experience. Offer support and encouragement alongside your critique.
Giving Feedback:
Be Constructive: Focus on providing helpful and specific feedback. Highlight what works well in the poem and suggest areas for improvement.
Be Respectful: Always approach feedback with kindness and respect. Remember, the goal is to help each other grow as poets.
Be Specific: Offer detailed observations and suggestions. For example, instead of saying “I didn’t like this part,” try “I think the imagery here could be stronger by adding more sensory details.”
Workshop Guidelines
Workshopping Poems:
Detailed Reviews: If you’d like a more in-depth critique, mention this when you post your poem. Fellow poets can then take the time to provide a thorough review.
Revisions: Feel free to post revised versions of your poems based on the feedback you receive. This can help track your progress and show how your work evolves.
Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask specific questions about your poem or the feedback you receive. Clarifying questions can lead to more insightful critiques.
Example Post
Poem: Whispers of the Night
In the stillness, shadows dance,
Whispers weave a silent trance.
Moonlight casts a silver hue,
Dreams awaken, pure and true.
Context: This poem was inspired by a word prompt about “night.” I’m particularly looking for feedback on the imagery and flow.
Feedback Given:
Positive: “I love the imagery in the first line; it sets a mysterious tone.”
Constructive: “The second line feels a bit vague. Maybe adding a more specific detail about the shadows could enhance the image.”
Engage and Support
This Feedback Corner is not just about receiving feedback but also about giving it. Take the time to read and respond to others’ poems. Your insights can be incredibly valuable and help foster a sense of community.
We’re here to grow together as poets. Let’s make the most of this space by supporting each other with thoughtful and constructive feedback. Happy writing and sharing!
Day 16
Form Prompt: Sestina
Prompt: Write a sestina, a 39-line poem consisting of six stanzas of six lines each, followed by a three-line envoi. The same six words are repeated at the end of each line in a rotating pattern. Use this complex form to explore a theme of cycles—whether it’s the cycles of nature, emotions, or experiences in life. Let the repetition of words mirror the repetitive patterns we see in our world.
Context: Let's be honest, this was 100% about following the form prompt with no regard towards the poem itself. That being said, I feel like I could write a Sestina again and do much better (If I had time). They are not as hard as they seem at first, and the unlimited line length makes them easier (for me) than something like a tanka. I also feel like I could have written something less dark, and it might have been easier. After starting this, I felt like I didn't have enough story to cover it, but that's what you get when you don't plan ahead at all and start writing a few minutes after reading the prompt.
1:
1 It all repeats through history, like the circle of life, but few seem to see.
2 Blind by choice, not even willing to try.
3 Until it is their turn. Then they see it, like the point of a needle placed against the eye, too late. It's happening again.
4 The past is easy to see while it is close, but time makes it grow foggy, romanticization painting its beauty over the truth as time moves forward.
5 The world spins as though nothing is wrong. Nothing has changed, as the cosmos knows no surprise.
6 But we are not so lucky. As this circle continues, we are only out-of-place things upon this world.
2:
1 There is always a way, always some path forward.
2 Even through the fog and romanticization of time, the truth is there; if one tries, they can see.
3 If you look, eyes open to the repeating circle, you will be struck down by your past with surprise.
4 For only then will you have the true choice to know or forget, to see your chance to try.
5 With the truth in hand, paths will be seen through the world.
6 The circle will never stop. It will repeat again and again.
3:
1 Paths chosen, eyes open to truth, but with time, history repeats again.
2 Fights don't stop with progression towards something new; bloodied and broken is the way forward.
3 With blade and bow, we beat the drums of war for a better world.
4 Through the reddened waters and smoke of death, visions come, and we see.
5 This is when change, the new world comes, and death comes as they try.
6 The circle repeats, and it comes as the people look at the presents of their past in surprise.
4:
1 Every generation circles back to history, and when it comes, every generation stares in surprise.
2 Every time things come around the same hollowed words ring out of, "never again."
3 As fresh eyes look across the world with repeated new sight and power presents itself, those hungry for it once again try.
4 Normal life continues as the circling fog floats in with the new day. Self-bloodied eyes happily look forward.
5 Life is once again beautiful and peaceful as dead eyes no longer see.
6 Walking the circle's path, soft with the rot that can't be seen in a peaceful world.
5:
1 Life continues, trees grow, animals evolve, rain comes, life moves within the world.
2 Things move on outside of the human circle without false surprise.
3 Outside the circle, the world looks into the repeat as they see.
4 The trees, flowers, and grass look on as they have for centuries as it happens again.
5 The bats, birds, and moths look down at the circle like a maze, seeing the simple way forward.
6 The world moves around us, the circle our cage as we try.
6:
1 No matter the circle and the outcome, some will always try.
2 With the repeat of all things there is something holding our unnatural existence to this world.
3 Through black and death, even blind, the desire is always forward.
4 The persistence of life through the circle is always a surprise.
5 As the circle continues, some ask if there will ever be a true "never again."
6 Sacrifices of your own flesh for the change to help others see.
7:
1: If you look on without surprise, you might not circle again.
2: To be part of the world and feel the ground as you move forward.
3: With the birds you see and the trees, there is hope to try.