I am not writing this post for advice or to feel sorry for myself or whatever. I'm genuinely curious if anybody else experience this.
Does anybody else struggle to make friends as an adult? I will say right off the bat that I struggle with anxiety so face to face conversations with strangers are difficult for me. As such, online communication is my go to so a lot of my friends are online and I'm fine with that. But even online, I sometimes find it difficult to make friends.
And following on from that, does anyone feel like everyone else has a million friends but I have two? I have my best friend who I tell everything to and my work bestie. It's a similar relationship but I tell my best friend absolutely everything whereas I do leave some bits out for my work bestie.
I'm just curious if anyone can relate?
I totally relate to you Rachel. I find it easier making friends online than face to face. I have a circle of my girlfriends and all of them are extroverts. So even if I make new friends, it's through them. I have very good friends at work too, but as you said, I leave some bits out when I am with them.
I look like a total standoffish person, but I'm actually friendly. I suppose it doesn't help I don't smile in pictures, LOL. I am able to make friends easily, but the older I've become, I find that there is only one friend that I would call a "best friend." She means the world to me and she is actually the person who encouraged me to share my poetry on social media. I met her at work, but we work in different departments and hang out and see each other outside of work. I have some friends I would say are more or less childhood friends, since I've been friends with them for years, but I don't see or talk to them often.
As for forming new friendships, I have a golden rule about this at this point in my life. If you show in interest in being my friend, I'm all in. I will ask you how you're doing and it won't just be a greeting, I sincerely want to know how you're doing. I will listen intently and share about myself if you ask. I'm the type of person if you ask my opinion, I will give you an honest opinion (no sugar coating), but I have been told that is one of my greatest qualities (I'm not making this up, I swear someone told me this!) :)
Work friendships in general are tricky. I trust my friend and know she won't share anything about me with others. Aside from my bestie, I don't have other work friends. The others are just acquaintances.
I've started making new friends on Instagram through poetry, but I have to say that some people don't wish to communicate more than liking a post or responding to a comment. I am still new to the platform and send people a message if they follow me thanking them, however, most of the time, I don't get a response. LOL.
As an only child I’ve always been used to having to keep myself occupied. I spend a lot of time in the centre of London and so meet and make friends who either live there or on the opposite side of the city which makes things difficult me as I’m as far out to the west as you can get. Like everyone else, that more than suits me as an introvert who gets really up tight and drained if I socialise for too long, then it takes me about a month for my batteries to recharge after total radio silence lol! The idea of having a massive social circle scares me. Having one or two close friends is perfect for me, and I like knowing there’s only that amount of people in the world who TRULY know me.
Thank you all who commented. Its good to know I'm not alone in this experience.
To be clear, it's not that I need or even want a massive community of friends. I just find it so hard. I met someone online back in February I think. And I thought we had a lot in common and I thought this person was a real friend. But we haven't really talked in weeks and I end up feeling more like an inconvenience if I'm honest. But that's by the by. I have all you lovely Covers!
Friends are there for support.
Don't find problem in making friends.
The real issue is finding real people that actually have your best interest at heart.
I heard this on a video,which was saying,inviting a friend means hearing about problems.
Remember when I was a kid,I wanted alot of friends.Now,if I have friends,it would most likely be online.
Unless I'm really committed to communities I serve,(Like I was last year,and now this year,thanks to Poetry Cove) I only really need about 1-3.Only because that's enough for me.
While,I prefer to have nobody to talk to,if there's someone who somehow has same interests as me,and were cool,then they're welcome in my world.If not,they won’t enter.
Its more about quality within the person than the ability to keep someone around who shouldn't be there.
It's exactly the same for me. I have 2 friends here and my best friend in the US and that's it. Everyone else I encounter (like two people) are online as I don't go out. It is just impossible for me to make friends as an adult as I have no idea how to speak to people, even online, and I'm so awkward and anxious. It's like I missed the memo on how to socialise and be normal. But my tiny little unit is so supportive of me that sometimes I don't even feel like I'm missing out on anything :)
I 100% relate. Absolutely, I have one best friend and that’s it. For me it's hard to find people I can trust. I also think that it's ok. There is no law saying popularity equals happiness. Those few treasured friends is all I need.